Ford's Theater

One of the funnest things about living in Washington D.C. is that there is always something to learn, something to see, or something to do.  Amazingly, Scott and I had never been to Ford's Theater, the spot where Lincoln was assassinated.  The theater and learning center has recently undergone a face lift and the place is amazing.  It is free like most worthwhile D.C. sites and incredibly interesting. Let me take you on a little tour.

Above is the part of the theater that has recently been renovated. It stands adjacent to the original building pictured below. The theater still puts on regular productions. Of course, Lincoln's box has been permanently closed off behind Plexiglas.

Before entering the theater itself you go through a museum (the new part pictured above) filled with artifacts that include the actual gun used to shoot Lincoln, the suit and boots he was wearing the night he was killed, the playbill for the production they were seeing, and even the pillow they laid him on after the shooting. You can still see the bloodstains. 

You then enter the theater itself, where you can get an up close look at Lincoln's box and the chair in which he was sitting.

After John Wilkes Booth shot the president he jumped from the balcony onto the stage breaking his ankle.  Even still, he wasn't found for 12 days.  Lincoln was carried out of the theater and across the street to a boarding house. After you leave the theater you can visit this home where Lincoln died about 8 hours later.

You see the room and the bed where he died.  Then you are taken to a learning center where you can read even more about  Lincoln's life and death.

Upon exiting the building you descend a huge spiral staircase. In the middle of the staircase is a pillar of books that have been written about Lincoln over the years. 

Ford's Theater is next to the wax museum, so we couldn't resist a pose with the Prez we had just learned so much about.  Additionally, near the theater is a beautiful old church built in 1792 by the same architect that built the White House.

If you want to know more about the Lincoln assassination rent The Conspirator.

It just came out on video and it is an excellent movie.

Playgrounds, Planes, & Baby Jimmie

We had a fun few days with Scott's brother and his family in town.  I saw a quote recently about how cousin's are your first friends and they stay with you for life.  I know I certainly feel that way about my cousins. They are the siblings I never had. My kid's certainly had a great time with their first friends last weekend. We had a few lovely days, the February tease, as I like to refer to it.  We were able to play at the playground.  We also went to the Air & Space Museum, where I discovered that my daughter is just as crazy about airplanes as her brothers.  But, the most fun thing we did all weekend was hold baby Jimmie or Yimmie as Harley calls him. 

worst reasons to POAS

...on CD8, or something: because you feel emotionally flimsy and hormonal, and you haven't been charting, so it seems like your period has lasted longer than usual, but maybe you're just impatient and cranky, but surely you couldn't feel this sad at this point in your cycle unless you were pregnant.

I decided to double (triple? quadruple?) down on the insanity by: (1) Determining that I could not bring the HPT box home with me, so I would discard all the packaging before I left the store and shove the (unused, don't worry) pee sticks in my purse. I was going to toss everything in a parking lot trash can, but then I saw a bunch of trash cans helpfully placed inside the store...in Target...and somehow had no memory of how long it always takes me to get those packages open...so I spent several minutes in a busy store in lighting as bright as a movie set uselessly shredding at tiny pieces of the cellophane wrapping on a neon-pink box with the word "pregnancy" on it in letters you could read at a hundred feet. Two different men walked around me to toss something in the trash can during this endless process; neither made eye contact. (2) Forgetting that you're supposed to wait three minutes. This part isn't really important, but I have become so accustomed to the negative tests that I forget that there are special instructions for people who want a positive one. At least I got a control line this time. (3) Remembering several hours later that I should have waited three minutes, and fishing the whole mess out of the trash. Still negative. (4) Pondering the fact that you're supposed to wait 3-10 minutes, and I waited hours. I'm pretty sure once they show a + they stay that way (you know, I've heard), but the directions do say not to wait forever. And I remembered a post on 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility that lampooned RE-peeing on old HPTs. I've never done this. Who knows - I might never buy another package. (I have told myself this many times.) What the heck? It was still negative, of course.

The million-dollar question is why I would do this in the first place. I know, I know: this is an audience that can imagine innumerable insane - but compelling! - reasons to spend that $6.99. For two tests, by the way - so this insanity can repeat itself (without the HPT-Unwrapping of Frustration and Shame impromptu performance art in Target) at a later date.

In this case, despite its being CD8 (which is totally canceled out by the fact that I felt sad. You're following, right?), I was suddenly overcome by the concern that I have actually been pregnant almost constantly during the last six-plus years, and my occasionally varying periods (variances apparently catalyzed by various fertility drugs, surgeries, and invasive diagnostic procedures - or maybe, so I thought!) were not actually the resumption of menstruation but some sort of innocuous early-pregnancy bleeding, and if only I had taken an HPT in mid-"cycle" all these many times, I would have long ago realized that I was not infertile but a "habitual aborter" (for those who haven't read TCOYF, look it up) and sought early treatment to keep those pregnancies and I would have like five healthy kids now.

Sigh.

Jimmer Time

For Christmas I got Scott tickets to the Washington Wizards game against the Sacramento Kings, aka Jimmer Fredette's team.  We went Wednesday with Scott's brother Todd and his wife. They have been visiting for a few days. We had such a great time cheering for Scott's mancrush Jimmer. 

He only played for one quarter, but that was probably enough because I was a little out of control when he was in the game.  Nothing major, just typical stuff like screaming for him, at his coach, the refs, and every Wizards fan in our general vicinity. I don't think I used too many swear words, so I felt like I represented BYU Alumni pretty well.  I think my sister-in-law was shocked and perhaps a little frightened that we were going to get jumped if I didn't shut up. Obviously, she needs to visit my hometown on a Friday night in January or maybe attend a few church basketball games. 

 Scott and I made a brief appearance on the Jumbotron, but they quickly moved the camera away when we started screaming for Sacramento.

Jimmer for 3!  He had 8 points in the short time he played. Why he isn't playing all the time is a source of great contention with us and his coach.

Scott caught a Wizard,s shirt in the 3rd quarter. All the true Wizard,s fans were livid that a punk in a King's jersey caught a shirt that he didn't even want. We heard a lot of comments about how white men really can jump. When Jimmer's coach didn't put him back in the game, I put the Wizard's shirt on in protest. 

RAAAAAA...AAAA...aaaaahhh?

I had a four-day weekend and I am not best pleased with my results.

My goals were to (1) demolish the tile-board in the kitchen, repair the plaster behind it, and prime and paint the walls; (2) create a stenciled "stair runner" on our back stairs and varnish them; and (3) get a substantial start on repainting the built-in bookshelves and souping up their chintzy molding. That would leave me with plenty of momentum to finish the bookshelves during the week and tool with a full head of steam into next Saturday, when I would paint the entire stair hall with a color magically selected out of my sea of indecision.

My results look rather different: (1) demolished tile-board, but not all of it. I can't get it out from behind the kitchen cabinetry (!!!), so I can't get that wall done and repainted. So I'm not going to repaint all the walls. They're currently white and the new paint is yellow, so I need a logical stopping-place so I don't have a half-painted wall. So I basically got about half the tile-board off. I also discovered that the walls behind the tile-board were in poor condition when it was installed (i.e., there is more damage to repair than that caused by my demolition), and some of this exceeds my ability to repair. My sister suggests beadboard wainscoting, and I am giving this serious consideration. I did the plaster repair, but I haven't sanded, primed, or painted it, because I got mad at my husband (the one who was in a hurry for me to finish the demo), and decided to focus on the projects I wanted to do if he was going to be a pill.

Which brings me to...the stairs. I had painted two coats of porch paint onto the stairs last week. Friday (when I did the demo - my most productive day by like 1000%), I got the stripes taped and painted. But then the tape ripped off half the original paint when it came up, so Saturday I spent touching it up instead of stenciling. Grrrrr. Sunday I stenciled, and Monday I put on two coats of varnish. But I decided it needs a third, so I will be doing that tonight, in addition to going to the grocery store, because I didn't manage to fit that in all four days. I also did only half the laundry (my sister did the rest), and didn't find time to clean the bathroom, which I really need to do. Or cook. I am a disaster.

Part of this is because I blew hours of potential labor on Monday buying a car. It was a snap decision, in that I saw the ad Sunday, called Monday, and drove the car home Monday evening - inspection, negotiation, payment, all done. On the other hand, I've been looking for the car for...a year. So a large item is now off my to-do list. Getting to the DMV has now become more pressing, which is horrible, but...I guess I have to do that.

As a consequence, all I accomplished on the bookshelves was ripping off the old trim and reading about how to strip the ugly varnish. My goal is that tomorrow after work, I will strip the varnish; then Thursday I will cut and hang the new molding; then starting Friday I will paint. But it will take many, many coats of paint (since I want the backs the same color as the room's walls, and since it will need varnish over the paint). And the weekend after next is our housewarming party, and I also want to paint the stair hall before then, and when will I do that?

My DH can prime and paint the kitchen if he wants it painted. I consider the large plaster patches to be a conversation piece.

I guess there is some good news. I picked out and purchased the new bookshelf molding at the big orange store, so that project has gone from the Psychic Anguish/Acquisition Planning stage to the Awaiting Execution stage, which is much lower-stress but does involve random lengths of molding on the floor. I also picked out a color for the stair hall (probably ramping up my antsiness to paint it). Neither my DH nor my sister likes it, and neither, I suspect, will any of you, but this time I am absolutely positive, so I am going to go ahead with it. It will be magnificent - you'll see.

So I decided (as mentioned) to work from the color in the green bedroom. That color is just a shade darker than Behr's "Garden Spot":

I know, that color looks sort of innocuous. It's actually intense. How intense? Well, actually, now that you mention it, I do have a picture of the walls...taken in terrible lighting, I'm afraid:

I note that this is not going in a before-and-after set of pictures of the room just yet, because I have ONE more item to hang that will not go on its wretched hook, and also my sister's stuff is all over the room, so until she finds a nice apartment (not that I'm in any hurry for her to do that, I'm just saying that's why you all don't get any before-and-afters) I can't document where I put all the furniture and the nice curtains I found on Amazon and all the things I hung on the walls and, you know, stuff. So this is just a smidge.

And here is a close-up of the wallpaper (I custom-matched the wallpaper, but it is more or less exactly between "Garden Spot" and the color one darker on the chip):


So anyway. I went to the Behr Color Center online thingy and tried to pull the lighter version of that color, and got the highly suspect "Fairway Mist" I showed you before:

As many of you commented, it's substantially pistachio and not very attractive. But I misread the color center thingy 'cause it's automated and I can't see it and color is deceptive on my laptop, and when I went to the store I realized that the color I actually wanted was "Spring Morn":

Yeah, that probably looks about the same. It isn't. It's lighter, and way more yellow (yessss!!!), and I bought a sample can and painted my foam-core board and it looks awesomely awesome and my sister and husband don't see that but they will when I paint it aaaaaaalll over the hallway. So will you.

And soon, I will share before-and-after pictures of my painted staircase. It's...interesting. I will be fascinated to hear your opinion.

Atley the Poet

Atley loves writing poetry and he even received a special award for his poem about trains. The prize-  having it hung in the main hallway of his school.  I thought I would post a couple of my favorites.  They are a little abstract, but that's my boy.

Amtrak

Amtrak goes right and left

North and South

Through the USA

To Amtrak Stations

From Miami to Montreal

It will go from San Antonio

To Quebec.

Ride the Acela

From DC to New York

The Acela is as fast as a plane

I want to ride the train.

Tornados

Tornados are big

They have lightening

They can blow your roof off,

like giant mouth's eating everything

Such an evil dust devil

Windy cumulonimbus clouds

Like whirl pools on the land.

Storms

Storms, storms, snowstorms?

SHHH!

A loud sound,

It must be thunder

I just saw lightning

Pitter, Patter

Rain is falling down

Rain like a shower

It's been raining for over an hour

Rain falls fast upon my head

While all the squirrels are hiding under the shed

My sister is frightened to be in her bed

It is raining harder,

a super rain

Here comes the flood.

Progress & Motivation

It has officially been three weeks since my diet began and my weight loss thus far....

DRUM ROLL PLEASE!

7.8 LBS

There have been a few things getting me through the un-fun-ness of dieting.  The first is this...

This stuff is delicious with a little skim milk. Sometimes I have it for more than one meal a day. 

Additionally, when I meet a goal, I reward myself.  My reward this week was this shirt from H&M.

During my freshman year of college, there was a big trend on campus to wear denim shirts with khaki pants.  I remember going to Gap and buying my denim & khaki outfit and feeling like a million bucks. Alas, that was 16 years ago and the trend came and went, but guess what it came back again.  Well, maybe not the khaki part, but the denim shirt is definitely in style and back in my closet for only $19.95 and 7.8 pounds.

Another thing motivating me this week is this jerk I knew in high school. We had a tradition in my school that the graduating Seniors left a will for their underclassman that was published for all the world to see. When I was a sophomore this guy willed to me a thigh master because, "I know she'll need it eventually."  I take a little pleasure in reporting that this guy turned out to be a total loser just as I suspected he would. Then again, I guess I should thank him for providing me that extra motivation that I needed this week.  By the way, if you read my blog, he who must not be named, and you know who you are, you should really get a life. But don't worry, I'm not bitter or anything.

Finally, sometimes I get impatient that losing weight takes so much time and effort, yet nobody seems notice all of my hard work. The following picture helps me to keep a healthy perspective about how far I have already come.

unwanted milestones

So tomorrow is my 30th birthday. I had very fond notions of doing some sort of quasi-pagan rain-dance type celebration nude on top of a mountaintop at midnight, commemorating the end of my fertility treatments for good.

But because I didn't get my act together last year and was distracted by things like moving and the home-purchase transaction from he!!, I was way behind on the six months of HCG shots I promised myself I would take before my "retirement." At the end of 2011, I got my act together and started actually working on taking the shots for consecutive cycles (if they can have a cumulative effect, which apparently they do in other people, I really ought to try to take them straight in a row). I just finished my fifth overall and third consecutive round of them (today is p+11), so I'm not going to be able to retire for another month. Among other things, this totally ruins my available answer to "What are you doing for your birthday?" I feel I could really knock off the "Oh but we have to celebrate!" lunacy if I could say that I was engaging in a pagan ritual to say goodbye to my fertility. (What do you think? Effective?) As it is, the explanation would be way too long, so I've just said that I will not speak to anyone who attempts to celebrate at/for/with me, which is far less effective because apparently people will not shut up.

I know I was a baby in the IF blogosphere when I started my blog (at 26) and I mean no implication that those of you who have already turned 30 have your lives entirely over. I assume you all understand this. Presumably some of my IRL friends (especially the single girls) who are over 30 find it difficult and/or offensive to understand my lack of desire to celebrate my birthday. But it's more complicated than being "old." I was married at 23. I was going to have five kids by the time I was 30. Now I need to schedule an OB/GYN appointment for the end of March so I can go on depo, which is really just a stalling tactic for a few years before I have a hysterectomy and turn in the biggest dreams I ever had for my life. I understand the crosses of women who are 35 and single are significant, but even though I am married, my complaints aren't petty. These may be the only ones I have that aren't "first-world problems," in fact.

My husband, at least, has acceded to my demands not to have ANYONE celebrate ANYTHING (principally because for several years he has insisted this himself). This is probably aided by the fact that as of 2AM this morning, I had come down with a stomach bug that kept me home from work and may do so again tomorrow. (Happy 30th birthday, me!) I've stopped vomiting, and for a few hours now I've kept down a bowl of cereal, a small piece of chicken, and an orange (and some ginger ale and tea), but I really don't feel it would be prudent to try anything heavier, and earlier today I came very close to blacking out in the bathroom. I'm especially frustrated because I've spent a whole day at home and there's an extensive list of things I'd like to get done, and I really haven't been able to do any of them. But I've offered up all the unpleasantness for my still-childless friends and those with gravely ill children. After spending so many years contemplating a permanent and worsening illness, a temporary one really seems like nothing. (So I guess that's not much to offer up. Sorry, guys.)

Moving on, therefore, to my far more consuming first-world problems, with which I hope you can help me: what color do I paint my hallway?

It's a two-story hallway, and thus one of the largest paintable surfaces in the house. Two of the bedrooms, the full bath, the dining room, and the living room open onto it, so the room-to-room "reveal" will be key in picking a color. In fact, if I were smart, I would have picked that color first, but I had so many more ideas about the other rooms, and so many of them were painted such awful colors that they got done first. The living room is medium gray and our bedroom is very light gray; the dining room has yellow-on-yellow damask wallpaper; but the second bedroom is intensely green (I had to color-match it to the wallpaper. I kind of like it, though). So things that go nicely with the first three rooms tend to go poorly with the fourth.

First I decided that I needed to find a color I hadn't done yet, and needed to start somewhere to find inspiration. So I found the Miller Paint historic reproduction colors palette at colorcharts.org, and perused it. I decided I liked Hawthorne Green, which appears (online) to be a color at the exact intersection of blue, green, and gray. I have blue, green, and gray, but none of that intermediate color, and I thought it would look lovely in the hallway. I then settled on Behr's pretentiously-named "Contemplation" as embodying all the things I liked about the color:

At the same time, I realized that I might not be branching out enough, and that there was significant potential for "Contemplation" to clash hideously with the green bedroom. (It does.) So I also got some color swatches in hues of taupe with significant pink or violet undertones - I don't have any purple on my walls yet. I got a sample of Behr's "Down Home," which is a nice color:

It goes better with the green bedroom by far. On the other hand, it's kind of an out-there choice from my point of view, and while "Contemplation" gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling, "Down Home" feels a little more edgy, and I am afraid that in a few years I might grow to hate it (and that a subsequent owner of the home would truly loathe it). So then the other day I was struck by inspiration. I want the hallway to be a really pale color; while it has a few windows, it's somewhat dark, and the current battleship gray feels oppressive. I want it to feel airy. So: what if I went for a super-light tint of the green color in the second bedroom? If I start by working around that color, I know it will "go." And I think the green would go with the two grays and the yellow wallpaper. And it's a pleasant, non-upsetting color. And while I'm trying to branch out, I only have one green room so far, whereas two are gray, two spaces are blue, and two will be yellow. I believe Behr's "Fairway Mist" (horrendous name) is the shade I'd need.

But here is my major concern: is it a color that's super-trendy right now? If so, in five years I'm going to hate it. I'm pretty sure that none of the other colors I've used is at the epicenter of any current trends. Light blue, light gray, butter yellow, and grass green have been around a long time, and will stick around. I hope.

What do you think?

Happy Valentine's Day

Love, Nash & Harley

source

Valentine's 2012

My Handmade Ryan Gosling

There are pictures floating around the web of Ryan Gosling cheering on his crafty wife. In fact, there is a whole website devoted to this hilarity. It is called Handmade Ryan Gosling. You can check it out HERE. Apparently, SOME women fantasize about being married to Ryan Gosling and having him encourage their craft obsessions. Therefore, they are projecting what their ideal Ryan would say to them in the midst of their crafting chaos. I wrote and submitted five of my very own Handmade Ryan Gosling's a few days ago. I thought I would share what I submitted. They may or may not be related to my own life experiences, or rather Scott's experiences being married to me.

Atley's Testimony

Last Sunday Atley decided that he wanted to bear his testimony.  For those of you who are not familiar with our religion, once per month members of the congregation stand up and talk about what they believe and perhaps experiences that have helped them to increase their faith.  Scott has been trying to help me not OVER PARENT, so I reluctantly agreed to let him go.  First, I asked him what he thought he might say. His reply was, "I don't know mom, but I got it covered."  I was a nervous wreck as he walked up to the stand and waited for his turn. 

Here is Atley's testimony verbatim:

"Good morning Ladies & Gentlemen. Welcome to church today. You really need to read your scriptures and everyone of you should get baptized and start treating eachother a lot better (LONG PAUSE) and never kill anybody.  In the name of Jesus Christ Amen."

Well, the entire congregation was laughing because of the tongue lashing they had just received from a seven year old.  I was laughing so hard tears were rolling down my cheeks when Atley sat back down.  He asked, "Are you crying because you are so proud of how good I just did that?"  Yup, buddy that is exactly why I am crying.

Here are a few of the comments I received after the meeting.

"I was starting to doze off when my wife nudged me and said, 'There's a Butler on the stand.' I knew I better listen because it was going to get good. I wasn't disappointed."

"Hey, I thought your kid was going to start pounding on the pulpit."

"Your son sure has a lot of confidence."

"I loved Atley's testimony today. It is always good to get back to the basics."

"Wow, you really have your hands full!"

YA THINK?

it gets better

OK, so I'm not technically sure that's true.

But sometimes there is a reprieve.

My beloved sister arrived from her extended sojourn doing research in Europe last Wednesday. She's been gone for almost two years, and while she eventually has to get a new apartment near her university and go back there to keep working on her dissertation, my house is the chosen landing pad for her re-arrival in the States. I pride myself on offering a relatively convenient place for people to visit. We're near DC, a useful destination. It also has three airports and numerous train stations. We're walking distance to commuter rail. We're also walking distance to lots of shops and amenities (library, church, etc.). Our neighborhood is safe and there are places in it to go running. We now have guest bedrooms that give visitors some of their own space, and enough "public rooms" (living room, dining room, kitchen) that people can be doing various things without interfering with one another. We have wireless internet, which we originally got in part because it would be nice for guests. We're pretty low-key about our schedules, and people can come and go as they choose; and I almost never make dinner at night, but I try to have food in the fridge that people can heat up whenever they're hungry.

Anyway, I now have my very favorite shopping buddy. Plus she has apparently decided to clean my whole house. I'm an indifferent housekeeper, but it wasn't filthy, and I had cleaned the bathroom before she came and did some other stuff the next day. She swept floors I had declared did not need sweeping, and yesterday when I got home she was scrubbing my stove burners. Every day I have people plural to come home to, and yesterday a friend of mine from college came over to go running, a friend of DH's from college came over to watch the election returns, and I persuaded everyone to let me make them cocoa. We went to bed late, but it was so nice to have a house full of people.

Even better, I have things to do without having to deal with the "now with babies" crowd in the area. It doesn't mean that I won't see them until she leaves (a month or so), but it means that I have an excuse to get out of things if I don't want to go, or I can show up and leave on my own terms; there's another person there who also doesn't have children; and because my sister wants to do something other that sit around the back yards of my husband's college friends and "hang out" drinking wine until all hours (which seems fair), I have been moving toward engagements with more of an activity (a comic opera with seven girls from my book club, for example) and/or a more intelligent bent. In other words, situations in which a 45-minute "cry it out" conversation would be far less likely to happen.

I may have to deal with the same-old, same-old crowd this coming weekend, but already it sounds like the events would be more active (making dinner as a group, if I wield my influence successfully) and include half single people, which gives me lots of people to talk to who don't have babies in tow.

Here's to a gayer 2012, already.

Dessert Anyone?

Nash called these treats, "A Little Piece of Heaven!"  I have to agree.  I made these for a Super Bowl Party we attended.  Don't think you have to have the funky little machine to make these either. They are super simple and worth each step.

1. Bake a cake from your favorite mix. I used chocolate, of course!

2. Let the cake cool completely and then, this is the really fun part, crumble it up in a large bowl.

3. Add about 3/4 cup of your favorite frosting. I used chocolate, of course, and mash it all together.

4. Form balls, just smaller than a golf ball and place in the freezer for about an hour, but not long enough to completely freeze your cake

5.  Take out a few at a time.  Dip a sucker stick into some melted chocolate and then stick the stick into the cake ball.  Next, dip the entire ball in chocolate, shake off the excess chocolate, if there is such a thing.

6. Sprinkle with whatever, or not.  Place them upside down on a sheet of wax paper or stick them right side up in some Styrofoam. 

7. Enjoy!

Confession Time

I need to lose 25 pounds and I am finally ready to admit it.  When Nash was about a year old I found my perfect weight.  I wasn’t dieting just nursing.  I wasn’t back to my high school weight, didn’t really want to be, but I was 25 pounds lighter than I am now.  It was great. I had energy and I felt comfortable in my clothes, not to mention my skin.  Well, here I am 4 years older with another baby and the heaviest I have ever been (not counting during or after pregnancy).  I didn’t realize how much weight I had gained because I avoided scales like the plague.  I kept seeing pictures of myself and convincing myself that it was a terrible camera angle. I even threw away a pair of jeans that were just UNFLATTERING! However, I knew that my clothes didn’t fit the same way, even my wedding ring was tight. My fingers didn’t wrap around my wrists or thighs the way that they used to, but I assumed I had gained about five pounds. So, I exercised, somewhat sporadically, and I read a book called French Women Don’t Get Fat.

 This book has some good ideas about eating smaller portions more slowly.  But, then there were some totally unrealistic things like never eating in the car and sitting down for each meal with a linen table cloth and china, or going the market each day and only buying fresh food.  Well, the author apparently never had kids or a life on the go.  But, the book did encourage me to get real about my weight and to realize that 80% of weight loss begins in the kitchen not on the treadmill.

 I found myself at Costco about 10 days ago and like divine intervention the scales were on sale.  I got on the said scale, right there in the store, and it took all my courage to hold back the tears when I read the numbers flashing in front of me.  I made Nash get on the scale to make sure that it was correct.  It seemed to be, but maybe it was meaner to girls, so I pulled Harley out of the cart and made her weigh too.  Apparently, the scale wasn’t sexist.  I had gained 15 pounds in the past six months.  Look, I realize that there are worse things in life.  Maybe this problem is a little petty in the grand scheme of things and truth be told, if I am going to die tomorrow, I sure as heck am not going to diet today.  But, then I thought, if I continue with this trend I will have gained 300 pounds in 10 years.  SCARY! You know those little charts that give you a healthy weight range based on your age, height and body type; for the first time in my life I was no longer within my healthy weight range.  So, I bought the stupid scale and I decided that I had to do something. I want to get back to the 25 pound lighter me that I remember from 4 years ago, the one that would go to the beach or the pool and actually take off her sundress.  So, just like the children’s book…

 If you give a mom a scale, she is going to need a serious diet to
go with it.

First, I found a great WEBSITE. 

It is a lot like Weight Watchers Online, but free.  The sight allows you to log your current weight, the amount you would like to lose and then provides a healthy amount of time that it should take you to lose the weight.  You can also put in your own date and it will calculate how many calories you should consume to achieve your goals. You can log the food you eat and it calculates the number of calories.  You can also log your activity and it will also figure out the calories burned.  You can even keep track of how much water you are drinking. To meet my goals I can only consume about 1100 calories per day, which is about 2/3 less than what I had been eating.  Does it suck?  Someday’s more than others, but with each day I am successful I get a little more confident that I can meet my goals. I feel like I am also learning something, although embarrassing to admit, about what foods are fattening and not good for you. I honestly never read the back of the box.  I had no idea just how fattening whole milk was until I put my first cup into my food log and realized that maybe I needed to buy some skim.    

Second, exercise! While I am learning that exercise isn’t as important as what I eat, it can boost my metabolism and give me the energy I need to keep going.  I have also learned that just running or just doing aerobics or yoga isn’t the best thing for my body. Rather I need to change it up!  Not only does this keep me from getting bored it keeps my body on guard and away from exercise ruts. For example, running three miles when you are out of shape burns a substantial more amount of calories than running three miles does when you are skinny and in great shape.  That is why you need to mix it up and keep challenging yourself. 

Third, I find myself obsessively weighing, sometimes twice a day.  But, I am learning that women especially have weight fluctuations throughout the day and of course, throughout the month.  I am trying to only weigh myself once per week, at the same time of day, and always wearing the same clothes.

After 7 days of diet and exercise I have lost 3.2 pounds.  I had some challenges this weekend called the Super Bowl and eating out, but I am trying to get re-motivated this week.  I have had very little sugar and after a few days of migraines, I feel much better than I did even 3 pounds ago.  I have evil thoughts sometimes, like, “What is the point of all this?” and “If this is what life is going to be like forever, I would rather be fat.”  Then I remind myself that the dieting part is only temporary until I reach my goal.  Maintaining my weight won’t be quite so limiting and hopefully, I will have developed a new lifestyle and a greater idea of what foods to avoid and which to indulge.

Why am I airing out all of my XXL dirty laundry?  Mainly, for accountability. The blog provides me a place to report my good news each week and I would hate to disappoint.  Wish me luck!