I learned in 9th grade seminary that discouragement comes from Satan. But I am not really sure that this is true. I am convinced that discouragement actually comes from having friends who are overachievers. I have been feeling a little discouragement, feeling a little underwhelmed with my talents and accomplishments. And the reality of this depressed feeling is all your fault. Actually, it is all my fault. I should have befriended some strung-out, ugly, smelly, illiterate, low life's and then maybe I would feel good about myself in comparison. Instead, I have you guys.
Let me explain. I seem to barely manage my life with two little boys. I am mediocre at lots of stuff but not great at anything. I am the typical jack of all trades, master of none. My friends on the other hand are writing books and quilting master pieces all while being pregnant with their fourth child. The possibility of me having a third baby scares me so bad I think I might vomit. I have friends who have their own photography and/or scrapbooking businesses. I have a friend who is an amazing artist/real estate agent/perfect mother and wife. I have friends who are financial gurus while I am still writing short checks. I have friends who are nutrition experts with a four year food supply hidden under their beds, while my children eat at McDonald's twice a week and have pop tarts for breakfast every morning and when those pop tarts run out so will our food supply. I have friends who sew their daughter's dresses and give crochet tutorials on their blogs, while I write about being a loser on mine. I have friends who are classically trained pianists, singers, dancers, and just generally entertaining. Today I was singing to Nash and he stuffed a super ball in my mouth exclaiming, "Shut your mouth, now!" I have friends who run marathons and are triathletes, while I am so impressed with myself after running my typical 2.5 miles that I reward myself with a brownie and a half a box of OREOS. I have friends who have enough self-control to stick to the most excruciating of diets and I still have a really hard time with the monthly fast. These are also the women who are cellulite free. Thanks a lot girls! I have friends who are career women and somehow make it look easy with their well-adjusted children. I have a BS in B.S.-you know Political Science, which I have never used while my friends are going to school and taking online classes. My continued education consists of re-reading Pride and Prejudice once a year. I have friends who teach their babies sign language, while the only sign language my kids know is how to flip someone off on the Beltway. I have friends who are hair stylists, while my inability to tame my own mop forced me to chop it off years ago. I have friends who are PTA presidents and chair political action committees all while cooking a gourmet meal for their husband and six children. I have friends so full of faith and virtue I am convinced that I am not Celestial Kingdom material if that is what I need to make it.
Anyway, I guess I have two choices. First, I could let you all know that we cannot be friends anymore because it is hurting my self esteem. Second, I could let you know how much I love and admire you for all of your hard work. I guess I will choose the latter. Thanks all you friends and relatives both near and far. What shining examples I have been given in my life! You help me become better and I feel truly blessed to know you all!
