Rage

If it weren't for shamelessly stealing the ideas of others, I'd have nothing to say at all. So, without further ado, I present my latest theft: this post on "baby rage" by Megan at INfertile Myrtle. You, non-existent person, MUST read it.

Her stages of grieving are apropos, too, except (1) how do you grieve for something that's not gone yet? I know, giving up totally on the idea of having a baby and then being surprised by one (should that occur) would make my life more peaceful, but I'm not sure I could swing sleepwalking through fertility treatments. And I'm not sure I'm prepared to forswear them altogether before I've really tried; and (2) I don't want to go back to depression/sadness. I feel like such a miserable failure already. At least at the anger (ahem, rage) stage I feel tough. Rotten things have happened to me, but I'm not curling up and crying, not me! No, I'm taking on the wretched world. Take that, unfair world!

Except I seem to be taking all the hits in this fight. Well, maybe I'll figure out how to let go and just be miserable again.